I heard a great song today... a really great song. It's called The Unwinding Cable Car by Anberlin. It really calmed me down and got me thinking...

This Christmas is most definitely not going to be the same. I love spending time with my family. They are amazing! I just wish my girl could be here with me. Haha it's quite funny that my ex, who happens to be my best friend will be there. Nothing seems to be the same this year. My mom wont be here and that's really hard for me to take in. Just to let you know, i'm not taking the family I do have here for granted. They keep me grounded.

It's hard to feel the Christmas spirit when it feels that everything is so wrong at the moment. I'm trying very hard to keep my chin up and a smile on my face, but it's so easy to mask the hurt and pain that is inside. I don't know why I'm hurting. Maybe it's just the season... and how things have changed this year... I don't know. There are other reasons i'm sure but those are being kept with held.

On a lighter note... My hair is blue. It's amazing and smurfy... I love it!

Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home. ~Carol Nelson

So Annoyed

Have you ever had one of those days when everything is just soooooo super annoying? Well today is one of those days for me. When I got home today I just wanted to relax and help my cousin finish unpacking... That's not what was apparently lined up for me... no, instead, I was to go with her and her husband to Lowe's only to find out that I was going to get declined for a credit card, and then again to Home Depot to find out the same thing. I was only signing up for a stupid credit card so they could buy an oven for the new house that we moved into, which by the way is very nice. Anyway... Then we went to Chad's rental to look at a new couch because we don't have one for the upstairs living room only to find that the one they wanted to purchase was already purchased... Now this store isn't very big and there aren't very many couches in it, leaving the options to chose sparse... but we somehow managed to be there for 45 mins and me standing on the sidelines listening to my cousin argue with her husband because he was being soooooo ridiculously annoying and wouldn't give any input on which couch or T.V. he wanted to go in HIS house. Seriously... she wanted me to go for my opinion, and she really shouldn't have taken me. It was nonsense. And that is my day, but only part of it. Tonight is Glee night so maybe that will make things a little better? I hope so!

"The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards." - Alexander Jablokov

Lazy Sunday

It's sunday... and that means lazy day! We've been sitting on the computers for 3 hours now just playing games such as Family Feud and boggle or whatever it's called. We didn't even get out of bed until like 11:30 this morning but it's okay we're young and we're allowed to be lazy right? One of my favorite movies is playing right now as I type this blog... The Rescuers. : ) It is amazing indeed.

I wish I had a drip line of constant mountain dew coursing through my veins. Do you know how amazing that would be? It would be kick ass! oh yeah! LOL like my dad said, Mountain Dew can be used for pretty much anything... It's even an antiseptic. Haha... Oh lord, my dad is something else. I love him nonetheless.

I wish finals were already over and I could relax for the holidays. I hope I don't have to work Christmas Eve... I would be really sad if I couldn't be at the Christmas Party at my parents house that night. I guess if I do work, I'd rather it be during the day.

Well, I think I'm slowly slipping into a state of sleep...

“People are not lazy. They simply have impotent goals / that is, goals that do not inspire them.” - Anthony Robbins

Holy Cow!!! It's been forever and a year! lol

Wow, I haven't been on here in forever. I should be more like my mom and blog every month. She's very good at it. In fact, I should just hire her to do it for me lol. I don't see her often though so she wouldn't have any juicy gossip that I have to post on here (not that I really have any anyway lol). I'm back home now, and realized that this is where I need to be at this point in time. I missed my family too much and when the time does come to move away I have a feeling it wont be very far away. Maybe Washington or Oregon. I have to say things are going very well and I feel very blessed to be where I am at in life right now. Yes, a few curve balls are thrown now and then, but you learn to change and grow from them. I am so lucky to have the family I have, and the grandmother that helps to take care of me! I can't forget my cousin and her husband. They mean the world to me, and quite frankly, I definitely wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for them!

School is going great, stressful but great. I can't wait until I graduate, but who knows when that will be. I'm content with being a student for now I suppose. Hopefully my mom goes back to school and we can be study buddies! I should push her harder! : ) I'll give her a little bit of slack because she's raising 3 kids lol NO EXCUSE! It will be good for her I think. : )

I'm still having a hard time dealing with my mom mom moving away to Boise, but learning to deal with it day by day. Some days are harder then others, but I'm so good at hiding my emotions about it, that I seem to hide them from myself. I don't think it was as hard for her to leave her baby girl as it was for me to be losing my mother. Boo sad day! I guess it is nice to visit Boise when I can though.

Well I'll be off to class for now. Probably try and post some updated pictures later! Until then.

A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory. - Arthur Golden -

Time is going by slow

Still here in the beautiful South Carolina. It's been raining a lot the past few days making the humidity worse, which is fine. Maybe my pours will open up. My skin has already become softer which is a nice change since Idaho's dry heat doesn't do me in very well. I'm starting to miss my family like CRAZY! I wish they could be here with me, but soon enough the summer will come to an end, and I will be able to bring home this amazing girl for them all to meet. :D I hope they like her, which I think they will because as long as she treats me right and makes me happy, I believe that should be all that matters.

Not having a job sucks. You get bored way too easily. Hopefully I find one this weekend. That would be nice. I'm lookin for something downtown because some of the shops aren't open on the weekend which would be way nice for me. We shall see what happens though, and I will be sure to keep those of you that read this updated. :D Miss you all and I send all my hugs and kisses.

contemplation is a hard thing to do

Recently some of you may know, that I decided to take a trip to South Carolina to meet someone who I never met before... It was one of those internet contact things, and well it's safe to say it's now more than that. Life throws funny things your way and I've learned that. It's weird to have your whole life pretty much planned out for you and then all of a sudden you are growing and changing. This trip is making me discover a new me... someone that was waiting to come out. I've learned that I'm really not a jealous person, and yes, I do fall for people fast, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

I'm growing. Very much. And I also have to say that I miss my family a great deal. I have only been gone for 10 days, and would be leaving today, but I decided that it would be good for me to stay. So far, the plans are to stay the whole summer. . . then at the end of summer, I would like to bring this amazing girl home to meet my family. I have only known her for about 3.5 months, give or take a little, and in that short amount of time, she has treated me very well, and I believe maybe even helped me find myself a little.

I don't know what I'm doing now, and quite frankly, I like it. Like i said before, I've had my whole life planned out... not knowing what's going to come next or how things are going to happen is a nice change. I feel free. I feel unique. I feel like I'm worth something. And no, it's not all because of this girl. Although she does play a part in it.

Contemplation is a very hard thing to overcome when it deals with your family and choosing where you want to live and what you want to do with your life. I have faith in myself in that I will chose the right thing for me, even though it may be hard. Like that famous saying "When life throws you lemons, make lemonade." and well I plan on making a lot of juice. :) I just want you to know that I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! (Family)

Family

Family is the most important thing to me. Where would I be with out family? Our life may be set up like a soap opera, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. They mean everything to me. We are like Italians, if something happens to someone, we are so close knit you better believe the whole family will be on it like white on rice.